I started this week with 2 goals. I figured I’d start small and develop some sustainable habits so I could grow from there. As a recap from last weeks post, my two goals were to pray simply and regularly, and to find someone to pray with. My longer term goals are to get over being self-conscious in praying in front of others (prayer is for the benefit of God, not to make me look good!)
What did I discover? Nothing new or groundbreaking, but at the same time something mind blowing. If pushed for an answer, I would say I am more of an introvert than an extrovert. But the longer this pandemic has gone on, the more my extroverted side has come out longing for company and fellowship. Over the last week I have not filtered those ‘selfish’ thoughts or tried to put them into perspective (‘there are people worse off than me’), I have just sort of chatted with God about pangs of loneliness and longing to hear the voice of a friend. (I am not often the one to reach out because I don’t want to interrupt anyone else’s day) Interestingly enough, within a couple of hours each time, a friend has either sent me a message/email or phoned. Coincidence? Or answer to prayer?
The part that is mind blowing for me? God cares. God cares about my petty little problem of feeling lonely and, I believe, nudged some of my friends to reach out to me. It didn’t just happen once, it happened on three separate occasions over the last week. Yes, the bible says that God cares. Matthew 7: 11 says If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Yes, I know. Sometimes we ask and we don’t get, and at some point on this blog about hope I will write something on unanswered prayer (maybe even over the next couple of weeks!) but this week God did answer these smallest, selfish prayers of mine in a real and compassionate way.
I read a book by Max Lucado called ‘Before Amen’. It’s excellent. I mean it. It’s filled with wisdom, it’s accessible and easy to read, it’s written for the real world, not an unattainable world of holiness, and it flows. It was so easy to read I think I read it in 2 sittings. It was like I couldn’t put it down, it just pulled me further through the book. The problem is, as much as I enjoyed it, I now need to reread it and maybe make a few take-away notes. That’s one of my goals for next week! But there is a beautiful little quote at the end of the first chapter: Prayer is not a priviledge for the pious, not the art of a chosen few. Prayer is simply a heartfelt conversation between God and his child. My fried, he wants to talk with you.
So in terms of goal number 1, I was encouraged that my simple and frequent prayers were heard and answered. I haven’t yet fallen into a routine, but then I don’t really have a routine at the moment because I never know what each week will hold. But that will be another ongoing goal: to find a daily, regular prayer routine that works for me. (I know people say mornings are best, but seriously, I struggle to stay awake…)
Goal number 2… well, let’s just say I may not have gotten round to asking anyone yet. I know, it shouldn’t be a big deal! And yet to me, it is. So that goal carries over to next week. I have continued to meet for structured morning prayer (over Zoom), so it’s not a complete failure! We all have hurdles that need to be overcome, this is one of mine. Please have patience with me!
Ok, maybe a slow start to ‘Hunting for God’, but there were definitely results this week. So goals for next week:
1. (carried over) find someone to prayer with
2. Re-read Max Lucado’s book on prayer
3. (Taken from Jo Swinney’s book) explore the Examen
4. Find a daily slot of intentional time to sit with God
That should be plenty for week two, but I feel I need to make up for week one!
The Reason for my Hope Blog 