So, apart from this being a day late, I also confused myself with the titles! This is what I found after the second week and what I plan to do for the third.
First goal: find someone to pray with. I had a really good conversation with a friend about how hard I find it to pray with other people. She basically told me (in a very loving way) to just get on with it. When we pray together and everyone brings their hearts, of course we will pray different things. That’s the beauty of it. God created each of us differently, and with each of us praying what’s on our own hearts in our own words we add a depth and a richness to prayer that blesses the people around us and the people/places/situations we are praying for. I think I’ve found someone to pray with, and the encouragement to speak up…
Goal 2: Read Max Lucado’s book (Before Amen) more slowly. I haven’t completely finished the book, but I have found some nuggets of gold that are making me reevaluate my prayer relationship with God. First off, what is it that I’m hoping to achieve? Do I want to pray more? Not necessarily. Do I want to pray better? Kinda… What I really want is the kind of prayer life that makes my relationship with God deeper and stronger.
Jesus prayed everywhere and for everything. The 12 disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray. Jesus gave them a simple prayer. To quote the book: Father, you are good. I need help. Heal me and forgive me. They need help. Thank you. In Jesus name, Amen. It’s so simple, it’s so stripped back. There is no comparison. It is simply honest.
It’s approaching God the way a small child approaches a loving Father. No fancy phrases, no comparing my troubles to another’s and thinking their not as big. Just sharing everything: joys, disappointments, fears, hopes, requests, mistakes. Place doesn’t matter, fancy language doesn’t matter. Heart matters.
There’s another quote from the book: ‘life has enough burdens without the burden of praying correctly’. I have been so busy thinking my struggles are so much smaller and less significant compared to others that I don’t bring them to God. But God isn’t like that. He doesn’t think less of me because I have smaller problems right now. I am his daughter and he cares. It is not for me to filter what I bring to him, assuming he cares more for bigger problems. God is bigger than that.
I’m going to keep going, searching for more nuggets, but that has completely changed the way I look at prayer, and the way I view my relationship with God, especially with goal 4 (find a daily slot of intentional time to sit with God). No regular time slot has emerged yet, but time to be close and honest with God instead of filtering my feelings has been incredibly liberating this week.
I know, I skipped a goal, but only because goal 4 fitted with what I’d learnt. Goal 3 was explore the Examen. Jo Swinney (in her book God Hunting which started this) explores it and found it helpful. I didn’t find it as helpful, partly because my days look very similar at the moment when we are in lockdown. Although it is good to find some sort of peace of mind at the end of the day, it was also a reminder of the limbo we are currently in. If you don’t know, it’s a simple exercise of focusing on the moment of the day you are most thankful for and the moment of the day you are least grateful for.
For next week, I think I will use the Anglican Book of Common Prayer liturgy for Night Prayer instead. A simple liturgy that centres my focus back on God might be more helpful for my mind right now. So that’s goal number 1 next week. Goal number 2 is going to be keeping a prayer journal. I get to this point, and apart from a few scattered notes I’ve left myself, have to really think back over what I’ve learnt. So this week I am going to record daily and hopefully get into a habit that will persist long after this period of ‘Hunting for God’. I’m also going to keep reading the Max Lucado book. Seriously, it’s fab. I recommend it!
The Reason for my Hope Blog 