There have been lots of changes for me recently. New job, new flat, and everything that goes with that. It was an overwhelming amount of change in one go. I felt a little lost and, if I’m being completely honest, a little inadequate in my new role.
But I also had the privilege of seeing what I’d left behind me, the impact that I’d had.
Jesus tells many parables, and one of the better known ones is the parable of the sower. It tells of a sower scattering seed on various types of ground. The seed that feel on the path got eaten by birds. The seed that fell in the weeds got strangled and couldn’t grow. The seed that fell among the rocks quickly sprung up but because there wasn’t enough soil for deep roots it also withered very quickly when the weather became harsh. The seed that fell where the soil was good and deep started to grow. Because there was enough soil it could develop deep roots to see it through the harsh weather.
Jesus explains that the seed in the story is like words we use. We are the sower. The different types of terrain where the soil lands are like the people we are teaching. Sometimes people will not have time to understand the teaching before it is snatched away. Others have too much going on in the rest of life, they are distracted by jobs/wealth/health/ or lack of, or are just more interested in other things. And others will hear for a little while but only when times are easy. They teaching won’t run deeply in them so when times get tough they will forget it and turn to other things. And then there are those like me, where the teaching takes root and leads to further learning and deeper roots.
But sometimes we are the sower. We are the ones scattering the seeds. In fact, we do that more than we know. I hadn’t consciously scattered seed in the place I have just left. Regardless, the way I acted, the way I spoke, the way I treated my colleagues, they were seeds scattered. It wasn’t in striving or working long hours. It was just by being me in the place I found myself.
It was in looking back and seeing that impact that I had a fresh revelation of God. No, I’m not perfect. No, I’m not indispensable. I am ordinary, wonderfully ordinary. And that’s the sort of person that God chooses to use to show his children that he loves them.
So where I am now, its OK to feel a little overwhelmed. Its OK not to be amazing at my job straight away. I just need to show them me, that’s all God asks me to do. I wonder how many other people need to be reminded of that?
The Reason for my Hope Blog 