There is a saying, “the same water that softens the potato hardens the egg”. I have to admit, I’m not sure whether it’s better to be the egg or the potato in this situation. I wouldn’t want to be someone who crumbles in tough situations, but I don’t particularly relish the thought of becoming hard either…
Maybe I’m taking the saying too literally! The point it is trying to get across is that the circumstances don’t dictate our reactions, it’s what we’re made of that makes the difference.
It’s like this tale: you are holding a cup of coffee and someone bumps into you and you spill it. Why did you spill the coffee? Because you had coffee in the cup. If it had been tea, you have spilt tea instead. It’s what we have inside that will spill out when we got knocked around by life.
I like this one a little better, because it makes it clear that you can change what is in the cup. If at one point in your life you got knocked and what came out was anger a bitterness, you can choose to fill your cup with something else before the next knock. But that will only get you so far. You can make good choices, but there are some aspects of our characters that take much more to change.
Take, for a biblical example, Jacob. He is the second son of Isaac (look into Genesis for the full story). In that culture, the oldest son gets the first blessing and inheritance. Isaac is set to give those to Esau, his oldest son. But Rebekah, Isaac’s wife, favours Jacob. (For extra info, Esau and Jacob are twins). And so, together Rebekah and Jacob cheat and deceive so Jacob gets the birthright and blessings which are meant for Esau.
Jacob then runs away to live with his uncle. There he knuckles down and does good work to ‘earn’ a wife. However he gets cheated and gets the ‘wrong’ wife. (Remember, this was a long time ago and social norms were very different…) In this time, Jacob grows up a little and makes some good decisions. However, he is still a deceiver. He tricks his uncle out of sheep (read Genesis 30: 25-43, it’s a brilliant if slightly bizarre story of trickery!) and when he goes back to his homeland, he sends his family and servants ahead of him with some not-quite-truthful messages.
But then, before he meets his brother, he spends the night alone. Alone except for the man that he wrestles with all night until day break (Genesis 32: 22 onwards). But it wasn’t a man he was wrestling with, it was God, and as a result God changes him from Jacob (the deceiver) to Israel (He who wrestles with God and people).
So the good choices started him on the journey, but it was only with God’s help that he could completely change. He stopped being a potato and became an egg (or the other way round?) Whichever, he became different so similar circumstances would prompt a different response from him.
And for us? To some extent we can choose what to fill our cups with through the choices we make, through the images and words we take in and through the people we surround ourselves with. But some things, some learnt habits and responses are much harder to change alone. For these we need prayer support and we need God. Its not always a quick fix – often it’s a process of perseverance and persistently praying and making good choices, of ‘wrestling with God’. And it is hard (speaking from experience). You’ll find yourself in the same circumstances again and again, but over your self-awareness will change and you’ll try to consciously make better choices. And then one day you will realise that you have behaved completely differently – what you are made of is different.
That is who God is. God works with us and for us. Protector. Saviour. Transformer?
If anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation: old things pass away; behold, all things are made new.
2 Corinthians 5: 17
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