We started this lent talking about introspection. Looking inward with an honest lense, acknowledging the good and the bad. One of the ‘bad’ emotions we can sometimes try to bury or ignore is guilt. Maybe you don’t ignore it but live with it hanging over you. A mistake made once upon a time that dictates who you are or what you can/should do.
Guilt in the short term is not a bad thing if it is genuine. (False guilt is never healthy, but that’s a whole different topic) Genuine guilt can alert us when we are doing something we shouldn’t and nudge us to apologise and make amends or change our behaviour. But guilt had a habit of hanging around. It takes up time and energy, literally sapping our strength from the inside. It can feel like an invisible burden you carry around, a secret you hope no one finds out.
But guilt that lingers is a wasted emotion. Jesus wasn’t crucified for the perfect, for the one who never made a mistake or never did anything wrong. Jesus died for the sinners, for those who were far from God. Take Peter, the disciple who engaged mouth before brain. Impulsive and outspoken, he was one of the closest disciples to Jesus. He was there at the transfiguration, he was with Jesus in the garden. But when it came to it, around the campfire as Jesus was on trial, he denied knowing Jesus. At the moment Jesus needed him the most, Peter abandoned him.
But did Jesus abandon Peter? Did Jesus appear to all the rest of the disciples and leave Peter out? Did Jesus refuse to teach Peter? Did Jesus decide that Peter had blown his chance?
No. The complete opposite. Peter was one of the first people to discover Jesus had risen. Peter was there every step of the way, and was given a special commission by Jesus – “Feed my sheep”. Jesus restored Peter. Peter went on to do great things in Jesus name. But first he had to get rid of the guilt. He goes fishing with his friends and spots the risen Jesus on the shore. Immediately he jumps in to the lake and swims to shore – he needs to talk to Jesus. And it is over breakfast on that beach the Jesus shows Peter he is forgiven and sends him out. Peter needs to leave the guilt behind to be the person Jesus knows he is.
Is there some guilt you are carrying? A past mistake, something you did or didn’t do that is weighing you down and stopping you growing? Have you confessed it to someone? Or do you keep it hidden, a secret you don’t want anyone to know? Bring it into the light, confess it to God. And then let it go. You don’t need to carry it with you anymore.
Guilt is a wasted emotion. God’s got plans for you, don’t let the past hold you back.
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