It’s been a long day. A long, cold day. The place I work is windy at the best of times. At the moment, that wind has a cold bite to it. And today, my work included sitting outside for an hour talking to visitors. OK, I was sitting in a tent, but it still wasn’t exactly warm.
Now, I’m not a big fan of being cold. I’d rather be too hot than too cold. But it was worth it today to talk to the visitors who had come up. We had a bit of a joke about how cold it was and one told me I should have brought a hot water bottle. ‘Tis a good idea I shall remember for the next time my work day includes sitting in the cold!
It triggered a memory for me, something I may have written about before. Back when I was a wavering Christian, someone who had grown up going to church but didn’t necessarily have a faith, I was going through a tough time with my job and my living situation. It wasn’t great, and I used to escape to my church. I’d get the key and spend some time in the building with the door locked just as a safe place to sit. One evening it was quite cold and quite late. As I said, I didn’t have much of a faith at the point, but there I was sitting in a church. I’d heard about God all my life, I knew what others said he was. But that wasn’t enough for me.
So in this cold church in the dark, I prayed. I said, “God, if you are real, if you are who they say you are, I need you now. I could really use some help.” I rambled on for a bit longer and then I realised I wasn’t cold anymore. No, I hadn’t got hypothermia. I felt warm from the inside out, a heat that spread from my heart. I guess, not unlike a water bottle on the inside!
It was that moment that I started to believe. The warmth was comforting. It was a feeling of love and belonging and reassurance. I don’t know what I expected when I prayed that prayer, I think part of me didn’t expect anything. But God showed up for me. I’ve done my best to describe it, but words don’t really do it justice. It’s a feeling I can still remember nearly 10 years later.
Sometimes we need to stop. We need to remember. God has revealed himself to us at some point, probably multiple times. Go back to that point and remember who God is, how he showed up for you. When Christians first come to faith, especially if they are an adult, they are full of energy and determination. As time goes by, they can become complacent or just worn down. Remember who God is to renew you passion and restore your soul. What story would you tell to share God with someone? What story do you tell yourself when the voice of doubt comes calling? What memory do you draw on when the going gets tough?
Go back to basics when faith was simpler. Go back to God himself.
The Reason for my Hope Blog 