Have you ever looked back at your journey and marveled at how far you’ve come? Recently, I found myself reflecting on past versions of me – the me who didn’t value myself very highly, who could be grumpy and defensive, and who wasn’t always the easiest person to be around.
And yet, that was the version of me that rediscovered God. Or, more accurately, that was the version of me God met with. Not the best version of me, far from it. But God didn’t wait for me to improve before stepping in. He met me as I was, in a dimly lit church one night, when I least expected it and least deserved it.
It’s hard to explain that moment. The closest I can come is this: it felt like God lit a flame in my heart. A gentle yet unshakable flame, unlike anything I’d ever known. A flame unmistakably fueled by love.
Around that same time, I found myself surrounded by a group of Christians, people I am now blessed to call friends. What began that night turned into a journey of growth. These friends loved me even when I didn’t love myself, and slowly, I began to change.
I knew my grumpiness and defensiveness weren’t great, but I also realised they weren’t random. They came from not valuing myself. With God’s whisper of love and the voices of my friends echoing His truth, I began to learn what the Bible says about me, what God says about me. And little by little, my opinion of myself began to shift. I began to love myself. (Which, let’s be real, took about ten years of intentional work, but I’ll summarize it in three sentences!)
So why all this reminiscing? Today’s reflection was Ephesians 2:8-9:
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.”
These verses remind me that faith itself is a gift, and through faith, we receive grace. Grace: God’s undeserved, unearned love and kindness. I didn’t earn that initial love. I just finally opened my heart enough to hear the whisper of it.
And with time, with God’s whispers and my friends’ voices, I learned to see myself through God’s eyes.
Now, I’m still not perfect. I still make plenty of mistakes. But I am more at peace with who I am. I recognise the gifts and skills I bring into the world and the positive footprint I leave behind.
Of course, sometimes I forget. Doubt creeps in. But every time, God nudges me, gently, persistently, and reminds me to see things not from my flawed human perspective, but from a God’s eye view.
The Reason for my Hope Blog 