Guilt is a wasted emotion – lent 2023

We started this lent talking about introspection. Looking inward with an honest lense, acknowledging the good and the bad. One of the ‘bad’ emotions we can sometimes try to bury or ignore is guilt. Maybe you don’t ignore it but live with it hanging over you. A mistake made once upon a time that dictates who you are or what you can/should do.

Guilt in the short term is not a bad thing if it is genuine. (False guilt is never healthy, but that’s a whole different topic) Genuine guilt can alert us when we are doing something we shouldn’t and nudge us to apologise and make amends or change our behaviour. But guilt had a habit of hanging around. It takes up time and energy, literally sapping our strength from the inside. It can feel like an invisible burden you carry around, a secret you hope no one finds out.

But guilt that lingers is a wasted emotion. Jesus wasn’t crucified for the perfect, for the one who never made a mistake or never did anything wrong. Jesus died for the sinners, for those who were far from God. Take Peter, the disciple who engaged mouth before brain. Impulsive and outspoken, he was one of the closest disciples to Jesus. He was there at the transfiguration, he was with Jesus in the garden. But when it came to it, around the campfire as Jesus was on trial, he denied knowing Jesus. At the moment Jesus needed him the most, Peter abandoned him.

But did Jesus abandon Peter? Did Jesus appear to all the rest of the disciples and leave Peter out? Did Jesus refuse to teach Peter? Did Jesus decide that Peter had blown his chance?

No. The complete opposite. Peter was one of the first people to discover Jesus had risen. Peter was there every step of the way, and was given a special commission by Jesus – “Feed my sheep”. Jesus restored Peter. Peter went on to do great things in Jesus name. But first he had to get rid of the guilt. He goes fishing with his friends and spots the risen Jesus on the shore. Immediately he jumps in to the lake and swims to shore – he needs to talk to Jesus. And it is over breakfast on that beach the Jesus shows Peter he is forgiven and sends him out. Peter needs to leave the guilt behind to be the person Jesus knows he is.

Is there some guilt you are carrying? A past mistake, something you did or didn’t do that is weighing you down and stopping you growing? Have you confessed it to someone? Or do you keep it hidden, a secret you don’t want anyone to know? Bring it into the light, confess it to God. And then let it go. You don’t need to carry it with you anymore.

Guilt is a wasted emotion. God’s got plans for you, don’t let the past hold you back.

And breathe… lent 2023

Have you ever found yourself so busy that you don’t have time to stop? With deadlines looming and too much still to do? Have you found you’ve said yes to too much and suddenly have lots of plates to keep spinning and are in danger of dropping them all?

No? Good for you, you’re doing better than me!

I had one of those days today. Too much to do, not enough time to get it done, things going wrong that any other time would go perfectly. The sort of day when it would be handy to be able to click and get the job done, or maybe stop time. Or even just have an extra hour or two in the day.

Does that sound familiar? There are so many things looming in the near future, fast approaching on a number of fronts that stress and anxiety are almost constant companions. Church, work, social life…

STOP THE WORLD, I WANT TO GET OFF!!!

In the midst of it all, a friend made me stop and eat and drink. For an hour I couldn’t really afford I stopped and I sat and I breathed. Sometimes it takes someone outside to break through all the noise. Sometimes all the busyness and distractions just pule on the pressure. Sometimes all the busyness is just a place to hide…

In the gospels, Jesus regularly went away to spend time alone with God. Usually this coincides with big events. Healing all night? Retire to a hillside. Fed 5000 men plus women and children? Send friends away, spend some time alone. A painful, agonising, humiliating death looming? Spend time alone in prayer in a peaceful garden.

So often, we can try and face all the demands that life throws our way on our own. We can push through thinking it will soon be over, or we can pile on the pressure to do better, to give more. Or maybe we can be tempted to run in the opposite direction.

Maybe we should take a leaf out of Jesus’ book. When the world is demanding our time and energy, maybe we should take a stand. Or rather, maybe we should fall to our knees and pause for a moment, and just breathe… Whatever it is we are facing, we are not facing it alone. Take some time, remember God’s presence, feel his love that doesn’t depend on meeting deadlines or being perfect.

Stop. Sit. Breathe. God is with you.

A look in the mirror – lent 2023

It hardly seems possible that it’s been almost a year since the last lent, since I chose to focus on God daily by writing a blog post. And yet, so much has happened that it also feels like a lifetime ago. So many distractions, so much unnecessary noise. So here we are again. 40 days (plus Sundays – I do learn from my mistakes!) 40 blogs posts to mark lent, to mark turning back to God. Will you join me?

I’ve been doing some background reading. I read that lent is a time of introspection. Uh-oh! It is easy to get looking inward wrong. You can get bogged down and stuck, you can forget to look at the people around you, you can end up hating yourself, you can end up diagnosing yourself with serious mental or emotional conditions, you can wallow in self-pity and convince yourself you are a victim… the list goes on. Introspection done wrong is dangerous.

Lent is not about that. But it is about introspection. Lent is 40 days because Jesus was driven into the wilderness for 40 days by the Spirit just after he had been publicly claimed by God as His son. Jesus spends 40 days with nothing else to do but think. No food, no water, no books. Just him and his Father.

At the end of those 40 days, Jesus is tempted. He is hungry, so he is challenged to turn stones into bread. His identity has just been revealed so he is challenged to prove it. And he is human, so he is tempted with power. But from this place of having nothing, a place some would see as desperate, Jesus finds it in himself to answer with quotes from God. After 40 days, he knows who he is and, perhaps more importantly, knows who he is with God.

Introspection is not a tool to beat ourselves up with and an obstacle to hold us in place. It is an opportunity to search within, honestly and without judgement. It is an opportunity to see those areas we have fallen, the failures, the disappointments, the shame and any other part we choose to ignore or hide away and let it go. Not let it sink back beneath the surface, but to surrender it to the grace of God.

When Jesus was tempted and stood firm, he knew he was prepared to face the next few years of his ministry even to the cross. And he didn’t do that so we could hide behind fig leaves like Adam and Eve did. He didn’t die for the perfect – they didn’t need him. He died for the messy, for the sinner, for the disappointed… basically, he died for you.

So take a look in the mirror. Take a good look. See the beautiful bits, the triumphs and celebrate them. And see the rubbish bits, the bits you want to hide. And relinquish them. They have no hold over you unless you let them. Give them to God and receive his grace in return. Remember who you are, Child of God.

Welcome in

Its Christmas tomorrow. Are you ready? Have you bought in all the food, defrosted the meat, wrapped all the presents, sent out all the cards, hoovered the house, put up the decorations, iced the cake, made the mince pies, chilled the wine and found the crackers?

Maybe you’re list has more in it. Maybe it has less. If you haven’t done everything, it doesn’t matter. It might not be the celebration you had planned, but it doesn’t need to be fancy. If you have done everything, great! Well done! Now stop and put your feet up.

I wonder if they were ready for that very first Christmas. I suspect not. I doubt Mary was ready to be a mother, or that Joseph expected to be a father so soon. I doubt they expected to be travelling when Mary was nearly due, nor that when they arrived they wouldn’t have a comfortable room. I doubt they were ready at all. And yet, Jesus arrived. Ready or not, Mary and Joseph had baby Jesus to look after in a strange house with no crib. And to top it all off, they also had uninvited guests dropping by.

There’s a lot to be said about stripping things back. If you haven’t completed your to-do list and don’t feel ready for Christmas, take heart. The first Christmas wasn’t exactly luxury and smooth sailing. If you have finished, remember it’s not all about the stuff. The first Christmas was simple – a manger, some animals, star light.

There’s nothing wrong with lots of preparations and being organised, or with there being gifts and food. The wise men who came to Jesus were prepared and brought expensive gifts. Just as there’s room in the story for the spontaneous visitor shouting for joy with nothing really to show. The shepherds left the hills and came to see Jesus with no warning or preparation at all.

That’s the wonderful thing about the Christmas story. There is room for everyone in that ‘stable’. The young mother, the man whose plans had been shattered, the outsider in society, the wealthy and important, and everyone in between. The important thing that links all of these people is that they came for Jesus.

You are welcome in the stable, whoever you are, no exceptions. Will you welcome Jesus into your Christmas?

Gratitude and trust

I read a book (or most of it at least) called ‘Ruthless Trust’ by Brennan Manning. Its a books about how trusting God completely can transform lives. One particular chapter stood out to me. It was the chapter on gratitude. The general message if the chapter is that the people who trust God the most are also the people who are the most thankful. Gratitude and trust are linked.

The reason this chapter stood out is because I realised I know people for who that is the case. Maybe you know some too. They are the people who can always find something in a situation to give thanks for, no matter how hard the situation is. They are able to acknowledge the reality of what’s going on and still find something to thank God for. I think those people are remarkable because when things get tough for me, more often than not I moan rather than thank!

This chapter came back to mind when I was thinking about Mary. Her whole life gets turned upside down in an instant. She is visited by an angel with no warning to be given news she wasn’t expecting which throws every plan for the future out of the window. And yet, her response is one of deep trust. “I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled.”

It’d hard to imagine what our response would be. In part, because society had changed so much that the gravity of the news back then is not comparable to if the news was given today. But even when something happens and plans go out of the window and everything gets disrupted, we can grumble and moan or get stressed and anxious.

That doesn’t seem to be Mary’s response. Her response seems to be one of peaceful acceptance. She visits her cousin who is also pregnant and we get a fantastic song often used in evening services called the Magnificat. It is a song of peace, and a song of gratitude. Mary is able to look at the whole situation and know it will change everything, and yet her trust is such that she is able to express gratitude for the gift God is giving. Or maybe it’s because she can see the gift to be thankful for that she is able to trust so deeply.

It is something I plan on cultivating more in my own life: an attitude of gratitude. Finding things in every situation to be thankful for. Because if gratitude leads to trust, deep trust gives peace of mind in all situations. It just seems like a good idea to me.

You are not alone

Life can be lonely sometimes. It can feel like we are surrounded by people and yet completely alone. Even with the thoughts and prayers of friends and the love and support of family, they are our battles, our struggles, our burdens to bear. It can be difficult to ask for or accept help, maybe because of pride or stubbornness, maybe because of past experiences of broken trust, or maybe because we don’t want to be a burden on anyone. And so, we isolate ourselves or put on a smile and hope others won’t notice while internally we are crying/raging/shutting down/insert your own.

I write this because I have been that person. From experience I can tell you a couple of things:

  • Isolating yourself doesn’t make you stronger or better, it covers up a problem that festers and gets worse
  • You will not be a burden to good friends and family. If you ask for help, they will give it. If you talk, they will listen. And talking and being honest helps.
  • You are not alone.

I write this now because at this time of year it is easy to paste the smile on when all around is celebration and laughter. And maybe that is what you need to do with certain people. But there are people who are willing to listen, who don’t need you to put on a mask but will take you as you are. There are friends on the other end of a phone, and there are charities who are there for that purpose.

And this is the time of year, when you strip back the food and the decorations and the wrapping paper when we think about Jesus being born. Emmanuel, God With Us. Jesus, fully human and fully God (not gonna get into the theology of that here). God, walking among us like God always intended, like it was in the beginning in Eden. Jesus, making a way for us and God to be together again, bridging the divide.

I was reminded recently that even when we feel alone, even when the well-wishes of friends stop at words, even when all avenues seem to lead to dead ends, you are not alone in it. God is with you. When hope seems lost, God is with you. When all you can do is curl up and cry, God is with you. When you want to scream and shout, God is with you. When you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, God is with you.

To whoever needs to be reminded this Christmas time, as you look at a crib or sing carols:

You are not alone. God is with you.

Hope returns

Someone gave me some good news today. It was something, without noticing, I’d lost hope was going to happen. I’d knocked on a couple of doors (Christian lingo…) but none had opened. So when my friend phoned me to tell me, it was like a light came on – hope had returned.

I wonder if that was how many people were feeling when Jesus was born? They had all these promises of a Saviour all the stories of God coming to the rescue, then 400 years of silence. No kings, no prophets, just oppression from foreign rulers. I imagine they had prayed, they had hoped, they had trued everything they knew how to, but I wonder if they had begun to resign themselves that it wasn’t going to happen, that those promises weren’t going to come true. I wonder if they had begun to lose hope.

And then out of nowhere, it’s time. Mary is pregnant, goes back to Bethlehem (David’s town), angels appear to shepherds, wise men travel reporting the coming of a king. Promises are being kept. A light appears, a flicker of hope.

The thing is, a flicker of hope is powerful. Hope can keep you going when it gets tough. Hope can help you bounce back after a setback. Hope is priceless, a belief that things can change.

So this little baby represented so much to the people in Israel, and means so much to us today. He is a flicker of hope that can sustain you when all else seems to be going wrong.

After 400 years of silence, Jesus came and with him, hope returned.

Resisting peer pressure

I wanted to look at one of the characters in the nativity story that often seems to be, at least in my opinion, a little overlooked. No, it’s not the donkey. I’m thinking of Joseph.

Joseph was betrothed to Mary, they were due to be married. But then he finds out Mary is pregnant, and he knows it’s definitely not his. They’re not even married yet! What will people think? The gossip in town about the child out of wedlock, or the adulterous woman he married, or whatever other rumours the townsfolk could come up with would make life, at best, uncomfortable and at worst, dangerous for all of them.

But there’s an interesting phrase in the story, often skimmed over in favour of Mary, Gabriel and Bethlehem. It says that when Joseph found out Mary was pregnant, he knew he had to break off the engagement but he didn’t want to humiliate or publicly disgrace her, so he planned on doing it in private. To his mind, his fiance had broken his heart and been unfaithful and still he wanted to protect her. The future he had planned had just shattered, but still he was concerned about her welfare. The heart behind that kind of decision is pure and good.

Obviously, an angel appears to set his mind at rest and he goes through with the marriage. But his neighbours would know the timing didn’t add up and the rumours would still go. After all, who would believe it if he said an angel appeared in a dream and the child was from God? Regardless, Joseph did as the angel said. He protected Mary and the child that wasn’t his. As far as I can tell, Jesus was brought up as if he were Joseph’s own son – protected, nurtured and loved. Even the Son of God needed some guidance as he grew up.

I think we can be quick to overlook the cost Joseph paid in taking Mary as his wife and bringing up Jesus. I think we put a lot of emphasis on Mary’s obedience (quite right) but don’t put as much on Joseph’s. They were both needed to bring Jesus into the world. Life would have looked a lot different for Mary and a fatherless child in that society.

Joseph would have had to stick to his guns and do what he knew to be right in the eyes of God. Friends would probably have advised him to let Mary go, to break things off with the unfaithful girl. Or, if they accepted the child, would have urged for a family name rather than the one the angel told him. Joseph put his neck on the line by standing strong and resisting the pressure of his peers. In doing that, he could set up a life for Mary, Jesus and his other children.

There is something we can learn from Joseph’s understated courage and obedience. The Christian story would be very different without it. We don’t know the part we play, and sometimes that part may seem to go against common sense. But when God asks something of you, he makes it possible, just like he did for Joseph.

Three trees

I wonder if you’ve heard the tale of the three trees. It’s not one I was familiar with until a few years ago. In my opinion, it’s a rather beautiful tale about ambitions and reality.

There were three trees growing on a hill top. The first tree wanted to be a beautiful treasure chest when it grew up and hold gold and jewels and precious stones. It wanted to be the most beautiful chest in the world.

The second tree wanted to be a ship, travelling mighty waters and carrying powerful kings. It wanted to be the strongest ship in the world.

The third tree didn’t want to leave the hill top at all. It wanted to grow tall and point to the sky and heaven and make people look up and think of God. It wanted to be the tallest tree in the world.

Time passed, and the trees grew tall. One day, three woodcutters climbed the hill. The first saw the first tree and noticed how beautiful it was. It was perfect! So he cut the tree down and took it away. The first tree was happy, thinking it was time to become a beautiful chest and hold precious treasures.

The next woodcutter saw the second tree and noticed how strong it was. It was perfect! So he cut it down and took it away. The second tree was happy, thinking it was time to become a ship and carry mighty kings.

The third tree wasn’t happy when it saw the third woodcutter. It stood tall and proud, bravely trying to point to heaven. But the third woodcutter didn’t notice. He didn’t need anything special, any tree would do for him. So he cut down the third tree and took it away.

The first tree was taken to a carpenter. But instead of a treasure chest, it was made into a feeding trough for animals. The once beautiful tree was covered in sawdust and held hay.

The second tree was taken to a shipyard. But instead of a mighty sailing ship, it was made into a simple fishing boat. The once strong tree was taken weak for oceans and was taken to a lake instead.

The third tree was cut into strong beams and left in the lumber yard. The once tall tree lay, pointing nowhere in particular.

Time passed, and the trees nearly forgot their dreams. Then one night, golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn in the feedbox. The father wished he could make a cradle, but the mother just smiled at the beautiful manger. And somehow, the first tree knew it was holding the greatest treasure in the world.

One evening, a tired traveller and his friends wanted to cross the lake. So they board the single fishing boat. The traveller fell asleep and the second tree carried them all across the lake. Suddenly, a fierce storm arose and the second tree shuddered. It knew it wasn’t strong enough to carry its passengers through such a storm. But the traveller woke up and said, “Peace!” and the storm died down. And somehow, the second tree knew it was carrying the king of heaven and earth.

One Friday morning, the third tree was startled when it was hauled away from the lumberyard. It flinched as it was carried through the jeering crowd and shuddered when soldiers nailed a man’s hands to it. It felt ugly and cruel.

But on Sunday morning when the earth trembled with joy, the third tree know God’s love had changed everything. It had made the third tree strong, a symbol of hope. Everything people thought of the third tree, they would think of God.

Each of these trees had plans and ambitions for how they’re life would turn out. They couldn’t control everything that happened to them and circumstances took them on a roundabout route. But in the end, they all achieved their dreams, just not in the way the initially thought.

I don’t know about you, but for me this last year has been a little strange, certainly unexpected. Things did not happen how I thought they would and I am not in the place I thought I would be. But I trust that God has a plan. I trust that those things I dream of being and doing are not lost or forgotten, just not here yet.

Time and again in the bible, it says how God has plans for us, things set out for us to do. Not that life is a tightrope and we mustn’t step out of line, but that there are certain things we are called to do and in listening to our hearts, being obedient when we hear God’s voice and stepping through doors when they open, we will get to the place we are meant to be. It might not be where we think it is – I’m fairly sure Simon the fisherman never expected to be a Peter, apostle and one of the leaders of the early church!

But no matter where this last year (or couple of years) has taken you, don’t lose hope in God’s plan for you. Like those three trees, the path wasn’t direct, but God had them exactly where they needed to be. He’ll do the same for you.

Making the ordinary extraordinary

The fourth Sunday of advent is when some churches focus on Mary. Reading the gospels, all we know about Mary is she was a virgin pledged to be married to Joseph in the town of Nazareth in Galilee. She wasn’t remarkable, she had no special quality. She was ordinary. Except…

Mary found favour in with God. Through her heart and her character, Mary was chosen to be more than ordinary, her life was turned upside down. In a moment, she became extraordinary. In the passage from Luke’s gospel, the angel says, “Greetings, you who are highly favoured! The Lord is with you.” It reminds of the book, ‘The Shack”. In that, God keeps saying, “I’m especially fond of …” whoever they happen to be talking about. I’ve also heard it said that God does have favourites, it’s just that we are all favourites.

It was nothing Mary did that made her extraordinary. On her own, she was an ordinary girl getting ready to be married. But the touch of God’s hand, the acceptance of God’s invite changed that. And it was an invite. Mary has to accept it, has to agree and say yes. I believe she could have said no, but instead she listens and says, “I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled.”

It is the touch of God that makes something extraordinary. A touch offered to those who are highly favoured. Or, in the words of ‘The Shack’, those who God is “especially fond of”. And that is everyone.

Not everyone will bear God’s son. But the disciples we ordinary fishermen/tax collectors/citizens before Jesus called them. They they became disciples and apostles, extraordinary people who spread the faith.

God calls all of us, invites us into his story, beckons us to follow. And if we agree, if we step forward and accept, we receive God’s touch, we receive Holy Spirit. And in receiving, just like Mary and the apostles, we become something extraordinary. Not because of we have done or could ever do, but because of what we carry of God.

God takes the ordinary and makes it extraordinary. And that includes you.