Resisting peer pressure

I wanted to look at one of the characters in the nativity story that often seems to be, at least in my opinion, a little overlooked. No, it’s not the donkey. I’m thinking of Joseph.

Joseph was betrothed to Mary, they were due to be married. But then he finds out Mary is pregnant, and he knows it’s definitely not his. They’re not even married yet! What will people think? The gossip in town about the child out of wedlock, or the adulterous woman he married, or whatever other rumours the townsfolk could come up with would make life, at best, uncomfortable and at worst, dangerous for all of them.

But there’s an interesting phrase in the story, often skimmed over in favour of Mary, Gabriel and Bethlehem. It says that when Joseph found out Mary was pregnant, he knew he had to break off the engagement but he didn’t want to humiliate or publicly disgrace her, so he planned on doing it in private. To his mind, his fiance had broken his heart and been unfaithful and still he wanted to protect her. The future he had planned had just shattered, but still he was concerned about her welfare. The heart behind that kind of decision is pure and good.

Obviously, an angel appears to set his mind at rest and he goes through with the marriage. But his neighbours would know the timing didn’t add up and the rumours would still go. After all, who would believe it if he said an angel appeared in a dream and the child was from God? Regardless, Joseph did as the angel said. He protected Mary and the child that wasn’t his. As far as I can tell, Jesus was brought up as if he were Joseph’s own son – protected, nurtured and loved. Even the Son of God needed some guidance as he grew up.

I think we can be quick to overlook the cost Joseph paid in taking Mary as his wife and bringing up Jesus. I think we put a lot of emphasis on Mary’s obedience (quite right) but don’t put as much on Joseph’s. They were both needed to bring Jesus into the world. Life would have looked a lot different for Mary and a fatherless child in that society.

Joseph would have had to stick to his guns and do what he knew to be right in the eyes of God. Friends would probably have advised him to let Mary go, to break things off with the unfaithful girl. Or, if they accepted the child, would have urged for a family name rather than the one the angel told him. Joseph put his neck on the line by standing strong and resisting the pressure of his peers. In doing that, he could set up a life for Mary, Jesus and his other children.

There is something we can learn from Joseph’s understated courage and obedience. The Christian story would be very different without it. We don’t know the part we play, and sometimes that part may seem to go against common sense. But when God asks something of you, he makes it possible, just like he did for Joseph.

Three trees

I wonder if you’ve heard the tale of the three trees. It’s not one I was familiar with until a few years ago. In my opinion, it’s a rather beautiful tale about ambitions and reality.

There were three trees growing on a hill top. The first tree wanted to be a beautiful treasure chest when it grew up and hold gold and jewels and precious stones. It wanted to be the most beautiful chest in the world.

The second tree wanted to be a ship, travelling mighty waters and carrying powerful kings. It wanted to be the strongest ship in the world.

The third tree didn’t want to leave the hill top at all. It wanted to grow tall and point to the sky and heaven and make people look up and think of God. It wanted to be the tallest tree in the world.

Time passed, and the trees grew tall. One day, three woodcutters climbed the hill. The first saw the first tree and noticed how beautiful it was. It was perfect! So he cut the tree down and took it away. The first tree was happy, thinking it was time to become a beautiful chest and hold precious treasures.

The next woodcutter saw the second tree and noticed how strong it was. It was perfect! So he cut it down and took it away. The second tree was happy, thinking it was time to become a ship and carry mighty kings.

The third tree wasn’t happy when it saw the third woodcutter. It stood tall and proud, bravely trying to point to heaven. But the third woodcutter didn’t notice. He didn’t need anything special, any tree would do for him. So he cut down the third tree and took it away.

The first tree was taken to a carpenter. But instead of a treasure chest, it was made into a feeding trough for animals. The once beautiful tree was covered in sawdust and held hay.

The second tree was taken to a shipyard. But instead of a mighty sailing ship, it was made into a simple fishing boat. The once strong tree was taken weak for oceans and was taken to a lake instead.

The third tree was cut into strong beams and left in the lumber yard. The once tall tree lay, pointing nowhere in particular.

Time passed, and the trees nearly forgot their dreams. Then one night, golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn in the feedbox. The father wished he could make a cradle, but the mother just smiled at the beautiful manger. And somehow, the first tree knew it was holding the greatest treasure in the world.

One evening, a tired traveller and his friends wanted to cross the lake. So they board the single fishing boat. The traveller fell asleep and the second tree carried them all across the lake. Suddenly, a fierce storm arose and the second tree shuddered. It knew it wasn’t strong enough to carry its passengers through such a storm. But the traveller woke up and said, “Peace!” and the storm died down. And somehow, the second tree knew it was carrying the king of heaven and earth.

One Friday morning, the third tree was startled when it was hauled away from the lumberyard. It flinched as it was carried through the jeering crowd and shuddered when soldiers nailed a man’s hands to it. It felt ugly and cruel.

But on Sunday morning when the earth trembled with joy, the third tree know God’s love had changed everything. It had made the third tree strong, a symbol of hope. Everything people thought of the third tree, they would think of God.

Each of these trees had plans and ambitions for how they’re life would turn out. They couldn’t control everything that happened to them and circumstances took them on a roundabout route. But in the end, they all achieved their dreams, just not in the way the initially thought.

I don’t know about you, but for me this last year has been a little strange, certainly unexpected. Things did not happen how I thought they would and I am not in the place I thought I would be. But I trust that God has a plan. I trust that those things I dream of being and doing are not lost or forgotten, just not here yet.

Time and again in the bible, it says how God has plans for us, things set out for us to do. Not that life is a tightrope and we mustn’t step out of line, but that there are certain things we are called to do and in listening to our hearts, being obedient when we hear God’s voice and stepping through doors when they open, we will get to the place we are meant to be. It might not be where we think it is – I’m fairly sure Simon the fisherman never expected to be a Peter, apostle and one of the leaders of the early church!

But no matter where this last year (or couple of years) has taken you, don’t lose hope in God’s plan for you. Like those three trees, the path wasn’t direct, but God had them exactly where they needed to be. He’ll do the same for you.

Making the ordinary extraordinary

The fourth Sunday of advent is when some churches focus on Mary. Reading the gospels, all we know about Mary is she was a virgin pledged to be married to Joseph in the town of Nazareth in Galilee. She wasn’t remarkable, she had no special quality. She was ordinary. Except…

Mary found favour in with God. Through her heart and her character, Mary was chosen to be more than ordinary, her life was turned upside down. In a moment, she became extraordinary. In the passage from Luke’s gospel, the angel says, “Greetings, you who are highly favoured! The Lord is with you.” It reminds of the book, ‘The Shack”. In that, God keeps saying, “I’m especially fond of …” whoever they happen to be talking about. I’ve also heard it said that God does have favourites, it’s just that we are all favourites.

It was nothing Mary did that made her extraordinary. On her own, she was an ordinary girl getting ready to be married. But the touch of God’s hand, the acceptance of God’s invite changed that. And it was an invite. Mary has to accept it, has to agree and say yes. I believe she could have said no, but instead she listens and says, “I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled.”

It is the touch of God that makes something extraordinary. A touch offered to those who are highly favoured. Or, in the words of ‘The Shack’, those who God is “especially fond of”. And that is everyone.

Not everyone will bear God’s son. But the disciples we ordinary fishermen/tax collectors/citizens before Jesus called them. They they became disciples and apostles, extraordinary people who spread the faith.

God calls all of us, invites us into his story, beckons us to follow. And if we agree, if we step forward and accept, we receive God’s touch, we receive Holy Spirit. And in receiving, just like Mary and the apostles, we become something extraordinary. Not because of we have done or could ever do, but because of what we carry of God.

God takes the ordinary and makes it extraordinary. And that includes you.

The end of the chapter

Growing up, I read a lot of books. There was one by Roddy Doyle called ‘The Giggler Treatment’. The reason that particular one is relevant now is because of how Doyle uses the chapters. They were an extra comedy element to an already funny story. Some chapters were of a standard length. Some chapters were just one word repeated for a whole page. And at least one was just a single word long.

The thing with chapters is that they are all part of one story, and things that happen do get carried forwards, but they also signify a change, a new section. Some chapters resolve nicely and some are left on a cliff hanger to keep you turning the pages. With Doyle’s book, you never new how long (or short!) a chapter would be. I know chapters aren’t a set length in any book, but Doyle took it to the extremes.

Our stories can be like that. Sometimes a chapter will end before it’s really got going, much sooner than you expect it to. Some chapters you wish would end but they keep going. Some chapters you don’t want to end, but they have to because the story continues. And in each of these, no matter how long or short the chapter is, there is a part that gets carried forwards, for better or for worse, into the rest of the story.

Sometimes I feel we can struggle to let the chapter go, to turn the page a start with the next chapter. Maybe there are unresolved things we need to sort our as in any good story, but there are times where we can be stuck in a chapter and maybe not even realise it. We can react in a certain way or make certain assumptions because that was what happened in a previous chapter. Maybe we didn’t deal with unresolved things so they linger. We can look back with regret, wishing we’d done things differently. We don’t turn the page and move forwards, instead lingering in a previous chapter mentally or emotionally. Maybe there are lingering wounds, physical, mental or emotional, sucking away joy and strength and leaving despair and frustration. Part of the story (not often found in books) is the time to rest and recover – that’s a legitimate chapter in our story.

All experiences in a chapter influence the story, but not all need to be carried. Some need to be left behind. In some very traditional church services after the bible reading, the reader says, “here ends the lesson.” There is wisdom in that. When a chapter ends, we take what we have learned in skills and experience, but we don’t take every little detail and every mistake forwards.

In John 10:10 Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” In Matthew 11 Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

We can’t live life to the full if we are tied to the past. Jesus burden isn’t one of pain, mistakes and regrets that weigh us down. It is one of love, forgiveness and hope. It is light, meant to encourage and pull forward.

Life is full of ups and downs, Jesus knows that. He knew loss and he knew friendship. He was hated and he was loved. If you read the gospels you find he did l sorts, experienced the whole spectrum. And through it all, he kept his eyes turned to his Father, to the future.

As we near Christmas, are there ties to a past chapter of your life you need to cut? Are there burdens you need to lay down that are weighing heavy on you? I encourage you to take what Jesus offers, and live life to the fullest, looking forward with your eyes on him. Look to the next chapter.

One life is as sacred as an entire planet

I was watching a programme today called ‘The Sarah Jane Adventures’. Its a Dr Who spin off aimed at younger children, and came out when I was at the right age to watch it so I was rewatching for the sake of something easy to watch. In the particular episode I was watching, Sarah Jane can use her sonic device to stop the computer from bringing all the satellites crashing to earth, but the alien is pointing a gun at her friend. Her friend says, “Do it! It’s me or the earth!” But Sarah Jane puts down her sonic device and says, “One life is as sacred as an entire plantet.”

That struck me as odd. I don’t disagree with it, but so often in films and TV its OK to sacrifice one for the greater good. Or, as Star Trek would put it, ‘the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” But here was a heroine not willing to lose even one, not willing to trade one single life. (It all turns out OK in the end, the satellites don’t crash to earth and everybody lives – it’s a kids TV show after all).

It’s not a situation that we would find ourselves in everyday, but I wonder what we would do in that situation. Would we act out of bravery, or would we act out of fear? Would we decide that the lives of more people were more important than the one person in front of us? Or would we decide we wouldn’t risk even one life at our hands, but risk everything hoping some other way would appear?

God takes the latter approach (sort of). To him, each individual is important. I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but John 3: 16 is one of the key verses in the bible, but can also be one of the least helpful.

‘For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him

John 3: 16-17

But God doesn’t just love ‘the world’, he loves each and every individual in it. He couldn’t bear the thought of eternity without you, so came and made a way for you to be with him. He’s the God who leaves the 99 in safety to go and find the 1 who has got lost.

2 Peter 3: 9 says, “-The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.’ Yes, God wants to save the world. But not just most of it, he wants every single person to come to repentance and to be able to be with him forever. To him, one life is as sacred as an entire planet.

That’s why Jesus came – for individuals to know God, for individuals to be saved. He came for me. And he came for you.

I was listening…

Have you noticed how important it is to feel listened to? Often we can have a chat with a friend and we’ll both remember the gist of the conversation, but there will be some bits we won’t remember, that haven’t lodged themselves in our brains. And sometimes we can be thinking up a reply to one comment and miss the next one because our focus is elsewhere.

But then there are the times when you are talking to someone and although they do make comments and ask questions, they do so after you have finished speaking. And then they’ll say something that shows they have listened and taken in everything you’ve said.

This isn’t so crucial in a friendly chat with someone, but is so important when you are sharing something or asking for help. I had a conversation like that today and at the end they basically summed it all up, referencing things I’d said in passing. I told them they had a good memory to bring up all the things I’d said. They’re response? Well, I was listening.

It struck me how rare it is to leave a conversation and feel truly listened to. Not someone comparing stories, not someone thinking up solutions, not someone projecting their own life/ambitions/problems, just someone listening to me in the moment, no distractions.

The thing is, because so often conversations can be frustrating because of wandering minds or others’ agendas, I can sometimes choose not to talk. Sometimes it’s easier to just keep quiet than try and be serious and be let down because you’re not being listened to.

Why do I mention that here? Because, as with so many other aspects of life, what we can experience with other people we can project onto God. If people won’t simply listen and give you their full attention in the moment without making suggestions of jumping to conclusion, then when we talk to God, won’t the same happen?

But throughout the Old Testament, there are passages where it says, “I have heard your cry, says the Lord”. Whether the people crying out or praying have followed the laws or gone astray, whether they pray daily or just when they are in need, God hears their prayers and responds. And when Jesus comes to show the way to the Father, he teaches to pray about everything. He teaches that the Father is listening.

So when you talk to God, talk as if he is listening intently, as if you have his full attention. Because he is and you do. You are heard. No problem is too small or too big. He won’t get distracted thinking of questions or solutions. He will patiently listen, and once you have finished he will respond. You can talk to God. He is listening.

A light in the… fog?

A few days ago there was quite a heavy fog in the town where I live. (When I say heavy, I mean more than I’m used too, and it considerably restricted sight). I was giving a friend a lift somewhere in the afternoon when the light was failing, and that combined with the fog meant that visibility was very poor. But as we were driving along, you could see colorful lights on some of the houses. The bright lights showing through the dark and fog was really beautiful. We couldn’t see the houses they were attached too, but lights flickering or shaped like a reindeer just kept coming into sight as we drove past.

The beginning of John’s gospel introduces Jesus as ‘a light that shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it’. As I was driving past the lights, it struck me how powerful they were. The plain brick houses were all but hidden, even cars were hard to see, but the lights broke through the gloom. The headlights of the cars gave a warning and guidance about where to drive. The lights of the street lamps lit the road(ish). And the Christmas lights created patterns that were nice to look at and lifted the mood on an otherwise gloomy and subdued afternoon.

How often have we been going through a patch in our lives where things have seemed dark and gloomy? Maybe it’s hard to see where to go next, or even to see much other than that which is right in front of us. It can be easy to get dismayed and discouraged in those times.

But Jesus came to be a light, to show the way. Its not always easy to see because we can get focused on the ‘fog’. But the lights do shine out, even (especially?) when things are at their darkest. The light can be words in the bible, or the presence or voice of a friend, or even Jesus’ voice itself speaking directly to our hearts.

Not just this advent, but all through the year, when things get dark and the path seems hard, pause for a moment and look for the light. It’s a light of hope telling you to keep going. It’s a light of reassurance that you are not alone. It’s the light that is Jesus who will never leave you, who shows you the way to the Father.

Mushroom or acorn

I recently had the opportunity to go away for a few days to a place surrounded by beautiful country side. While I was there, I met 2 people and we went for a walk together. It was November, but it was a beautiful crisp autumn morning. The leaves were crunching underfoot, there were squirrels and rabbits scampering around, the leaves were all shades of yellow and orange – it was justa glorious walk in God’s creation.

Walking with others can be a great experience, like this time. One of the people I was walking with took great delight in everything she saw, and would marvel over little things like the rabbits, or point out things that caught her eye. She really was a joy to walk with.

One of the things she pointed out was a cluster of mushrooms growing near the base of an oak tree. She said how amazing it was that something like that could just grow in a day. I didn’t know mushrooms could grow in 24 hours, but I  have since looked it up and some varieties can. It was a strange juxtaposition, to think of these mushrooms that can grow in 24 hours sitting right next to a huge oak tree which takes 5 or 6 years to be fully self-sustaining.

Sometimes I think we can wish were like those mushrooms – 24 hours and done, quick fixes, all grown up and lessons learnt. But more often life is like that oak tree. Starting off as an acorn and spending years developing, and then continuing to grow even after becoming self-sustaining and becoming one of the grandest trees (in my opinion, partly because I’m British and partly because they remind me of my childhood – I quite like oak trees!)

Philippians 1: 6 says, ‘he who began a good work in you will see it through to completion’. Wherever you are at the moment, if things look like they’ll never change or your stuck somewhere in limbo, remember you are not a mushroom, it’s not gonna be 24 hours and you’re finished. You are an acorn, taking years to grow and develop, and the end result is something huge and grand which doesn’t ever stop growing. Take heart, the Lord is working in you.

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas

Did you write a Christmas list this year? You’re probably thinking, ‘another message about how Jesus is the best present ever.’ And yes, Jesus is the best present ever, but that’s not what this is about.

As a child, I would love to go through the Argos catalogue and mark out a whole list of things I wanted. I didn’t usually get them, but I made the list anyway. I know some friends still make lists – although probably more grown up than a list of toys, games and books! I also know a lot of people don’t make a list. But it’s not really about the list, it’s about the magic and joy of Christmas.

In my memory, through the eyes of a child Christmas was an exciting time full of wonder, where dreaming big was allowed. It was a time of hopeful expectation – the promise of family time and board games was just as exciting as the hope for gifts given and received. My Christmas list had some ridiculous things on it, things I knew I’d never get, but I put them on there anyway, just in case…

As we get older, it is easy for Christmas to lose it’s sparkle. Maybe for some it was never there – Christmas isn’t a safe and wonderful time for everyone. Maybe it’s because the cost of heating the house and buying the food has become too high. Maybe it’s because of the loss of someone we loved, changing Christmas forever. Maybe it’s just the general knocks of life that build up and just mean Christmas isn’t anything more than a break from work. Or maybe, quite simply, we got older and stopped believing in Father Christmas.

Someone I am getting a gift for asked for non-perishable items like cans of tomato soup. I’m not knocking that request: they’re a student and those sorts of things are essentials for student living. So I have got her what she asked for. And I’ve included some treats too, because unwrapping a jar if soup doesn’t make me think ‘Ooh, exciting! Just what I wanted!’ (Of course, I mat be wrong, after all it is what they asked for – maybe they really, really like tomato soup!)

But maybe it’s time to dream big again – huge unrealistic things like a hippo on your Christmas list. Maybe it’s time to find joy, not in the gifts or the food, but in the story behind it all. Maybe you should write a list of things you want. Include soup, yes, but also include a hippo (or equivalent). If there was nothing in your way, what would you really like?

The backbone of Christmas celebrations for me has always been church. I grew up with Carols by Candlelight on Christmas Eve and a morning service on Christmas Day, and as I got older I was allowed to go to a midnight service (as long as I went to sleep quickly so Santa still had time to come). And the centre of the Christmas story is the birth of Jesus, the saviour come to show us the way, to restore a relationship with the Father. And Jesus teaches us to pray for anything and everything. He teaches us not to limit ourselves.

I’ve had enough prayers not answered in the way I hoped or expected to understand that sometimes it’s hard to pray. Disappointment can lead to discouragement, can lead to limiting our prayers. But my encouragement for you is that the one you are praying to is ultimately good, and there is a reason even if you can’t see it yet. God sees the bigger picture, he sees the outcomes, he looks at eternity and heavenly things while we are looking at the now, here on earth.

So while you are here, now, make your list. Include your hippo. And if you get it, fantastic. And if you don’t, remember that God has something better planned. You may not see it now, but one day you will. Because against all odds, He became human and was born to a poor family in order that you might have a way to be with Him in eternity. So dream big. God is with you.

I’ve started so I’ll finish

It’s a phrase from the quiz show, Mastermind. The contestants have a limited amount of time to answer questions before a klaxon sounds. If the host has started reading the question when it sounds, he says, “I’ve started, so I’ll finish” and finishes the question.

Why is that relevant? Because even though time has run out, that which has been started is able to be finished.

On the third Sunday of advent, some churches celebrate the prophets, the ones who spoke about God’s redemption plan. They are the ones who wrote the promises of the coming saviour, how he would be recognised, and what he was going to do. They held on to the hope of that saviour even when things around them looked dire, even when there was silence and it seemed so impossible.

And then around 400 years after the last of the prophets (or at least, the ones in the bible – there is a out 400 years between the end of the Old Testament and the beginning of the New Testament) a virgin gave birth to a son in David’s town of Bethlehem where he was laid in a manger. He was visited by wise men from the east who followed a star foretelling the birth of the king of the Jews, called in to Herod on the way and as a result a whole generation of boys were killed. All of this is foretold in the prophets words.

The redemption plan has started.

But then we look to Easter and Jesus is crucified. It’s like the klaxon, time is up. Except…

Except that’s not where the story ends. Jesus comes backs to life. The redemption plan isn’t complete. There’s more to come. Jesus tells of a time of war, of famine, of natural disasters, but to hold on to faith and hope because its not finished yet. The promise of redemption, of eternal life, of things still to come still stand. They are all part of God’s plan, a plan I don’t pretend to understand, but a plan made by one I trust.

Today, we look at promises made, remember promises kept and those still to come. We remember the bigger plan. And we remember that it’s not the end.

God’s started, so he will finish.